I hopped up onto the bed and was trying to get comfortable. I was thinking about how ready I was to pass out. I could feel all the food in my stomach sinking. Sleeping on a full belly is always the best. So, right as I was closing my eyes, about to drift into my twelve hour nap (don't judge, I've got to rest to be this beautiful), I hear something. It sounded like a little squeal, almost like someone screaming but they couldn't get it out. I tried ignoring it, but this sound would not stop. Since I couldn't fall asleep, I had to figure out what this sound was. Do you know what's weird? Once Bob hits the hay, his mouth is wide open. He just lets it go. I've seen multiple bugs fly and crawl in there. But Linda, her mouth is shut tight. I think she knows bugs will go in there, so she knows she's got to protect herself. She's a pretty smart lady.
Tonight though, something was different. As I was exploring and trying to find the annoying creature making that horrendous noise that is disrupting me from my precious beauty sleep, Linda's mouth was barely open. Unless you watch her sleep, like I do, you probably wouldn't think anything of it. It'd probably even look like it was closed. Nope! It was open in comparison to what it normally is. So, I got closer to her. God, I hope this bell doesn't wake them up. Ring-a-ding-ding. So annoying.
As I closed in on Linda, the noise got louder and louder. I decided to go up to her barely open mouth and see if I was just imaging things or if there actually was some random noise coming from Linda. Yikes. She had some garlic and onion tonight and definitely didn't brush well enough. That's when the little squeals became clear.
"Hey! Hey! Help us", they said.
'What the heck?' I thought to myself. This is not Linda. But the sounds are coming from Linda?
"Help us! We are stuck."
I asked them what they wanted. I tried to sound irritated because they are cutting in on some much needed rest time.
"We've been stuck in here for years! This lady has just kept us inside of herself. We don't have much time, so we need to tell you everything."
I told them that they were crazy.
"No, don't you understand? This is important. We are an important song and story that need to be told and this lady has just kept us inside of her! She hasn't uttered a word about us for all these years and this is the only chance we may have for a long time!"
Okay, fine, let's hear it.
"Well, many years ago, there was a woman and a man. They lived alone in the woods. Every night they sang a song together. One day, this lady, the one who has kept us captive, came into the woods with a man. They were looking for shelter and"
Hello? Where did they go?
I felt Linda petting me. I guess she realized that she had her mouth open and woke up. That was a lame story anyway, thank goodness it's over. Then, I went right in-between Linda and Bob, plopped myself down, and slept the rest of the night.
Author's Note:
I based this story off the first story in A Flowering Tree. This story is all about a woman who has kept a story and a song to herself for many years. One night, they escape from her mouth and become a coat and shoes. This causes friction between her and her husband. Eventually, he realized that nothing happened and that the coat and shoes are the story and song. He asked his wife about the story and song, but she had no recollection of the story and song since it escaped her. This story is all about the importance of telling stories.
Bibliography:
A Flowering Tree and Other Oral Tales from India by A.K. Ramanujan, Online Source
Photo of a Cat, Web Source
This was an interesting story. I like how the cat was the main focus. There was just one thing that I read, and found and an error in.... for the part where it says "I hear something." to " I heard something.". I loved the cliff hanger, it provided for great mystery. One more thing, maybe just add a caption to the picture, even though we can assume it to be the cat from the story.
ReplyDeleteHello again. You really have always had some excellent stories to read this semester. I really wish I was able to keep up the quality of my pieces. They've seemed to fluctuate in quality quite a bit and I've been trying to fix them up with revisions but it's not been great. This piece is excellent though and you should be proud of it. It was fun to read and I absolutely loved the cliff hanger in it. Great job.
ReplyDeleteHi! I did not realize that the story was in the point of a cat until the end. That was such a nice surprise. The bell thing was weird but maybe it was because they were trying to make sure she does not go in the kitchen. I definitely want to know more about the people inside of her and what happened with them. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your stories and what happens in the story next.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was such a creative story! I hadn’t read A Flowering Tree so I didn’t catch the references until I read the Author’s Note. My favorite part was that you never explicitly said that the character was a cat. At first I thought it was a child, then caught on that it was an animal. However, I was picturing a dog. But now I realize that dogs don’t wear bells…..haha I was just thinking about their tags.
ReplyDeleteThough I haven’t read the original story that you based yours off of, I can still tell that you put a lot of creativity into coming up with this twist. You did a really great job. It was so fun to read!!
I really enjoyed this piece! I thought it was so funny and I wanted to read more. I was a little bothered by the end not figuring out what was happening with the voices but then I realized the cat was the main point. I think you should keep writing or do a diary form the cats perspective. You would do a really good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is totally referencing Bob's Burgers, right? Oh, it just has to because that made me so happy! I really enjoyed how this story completely deviated from anything traditional. The little comments about the bugs crawling into Bob's mouth made me feel so icky, wondering if any bugs have found their way into my mouth? I'm so curious about the little voices from Linda's mouth! I love the cat mentality of just moving on, cuddling up, and falling asleep.
ReplyDeleteHi, Kimber! I totally relate to the main character in that I too love food and I make a lot of trips to the kitchen in the middle of the night…hahaha….I should really stop but I mean, its food, who can resist? I found this story quite interesting. I wonder what the rest of the story was. It was a great story. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteOMG HAHA, I did not realize it was through a cat’s point of view. To be honest, I wouldn’t have known unless I read the other comments. I saw the picture but I didn’t make anything of it. It really makes a lot of things fall into place….I guess I can relate a lot to the cat…haha. Well, now that I know that the story is told through the cat’s point of view, I love it ten times more than I already did. Really great job with the story. I loved the humorous feel of it.
You must have been watching Bob's Burgers when you wrote this! Nice. The stream of consciousness storytelling method works really well with a cat narrating. I have also read A Flowering Tree, so I recognized the references as your story progressed. You should put the cat at the top of the page so people know that the narrator is a cat to begin with. I mean only if you want to though. You don't have to.
ReplyDelete